“I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.”
— Julie Delpy (as Celine) in Before Sunset by Richard Linklater
Here’s your gentle nudge to make your week more interesting, thoughtful and productive. You can always talk to me more about these ideas by replying to this email.
We’re Our Own Problems
This isn’t too complex a thought. Today, the more we consume, the more we learn how large corporations, toxic people, selfish friends, et al. are out to get us or are making our lives worse. It may be true, too. This is not to take away the blame from anyone who deserves it.
However, often, we can’t really solve any of those. Blaming something outside of us for most of our issues creates a context where everything is outside our locus of control. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The idea is to accept that many things in our lives are, in fact, a direct consequence of the decisions we make. In other words, generally speaking, we’re more our own problem than anyone else being the cause of our terrible harm.
In no way do I want to discount another person causing anyone harm. Some people are evil/wrong in their ways, and this is in no way blanket advice. My only intention is to urge shifting gears and perspectives towards things we can solve independently; to shift the attitude to a more constructive, “I need to solve what I can” one.
There’s always something we can solve ourselves for ourselves. It is best to start there. The things outside our control will take care of themselves as and when they do. But if we keep waiting, we might never improve anything.
What’s On My Mind?
The more we grow up, the more we learn that meaningful connection is a rare event in life. The time as well as the common context to develop meaningful connections are only so much and that it is important to keep people around who we consider close to us. It’s important to preserve our meaningful relationships and connections through the tests of time and ever-changing lives.
I hope this added some value to your week. Stay safe, stay inspired, and I’ll talk to you next week.
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